Mental Health Awareness Week: The things that help me cope.

“So this is you, standing at the brink of your own chaos, arms out, holding back the floods and the hurricanes. This is you falling apart, breaking to pieces during earthquakes of trauma. This is you hurting, heaving and trying to heal. This is you, in the messiest part, right after it has happened. And you are asking why, why did this come to be? How could all this earthly chaos happen to me?

To you I say, love, this is your growth, this is your survival, this is the result of the universe’s incantation, this, this is how that magic happens.” -Nikita Gill

This was actually a difficult blog post for me to write. Not because of the subject matter, I’m more than happy to share my experience and try my best to help. But instead, because I tend to rely on a peppy, “all is sunshine,” type of voice when I’m writing blog posts – a voice that didn’t seem well suited to this subject matter.

Though if we’re being honest, that is a big part of talking about mental health. How many of us go about the day trying to put up that face? The face that everything is sunshine and rainbows when sometimes it isn’t.

I first started with mental health difficulties when I was 16 years old, in the summer just before I started college.

 

Being 24 now, I like to think that I’ve learnt a lot from my struggles and picked up some healthy coping techniques. Specifically, I struggle with General Anxiety Disorder and Depression. It seems simple to write it down on paper like that

“Hi I’m Gemma, and I have a Mental Health Problem.”

But working at this, and on myself definitely hasn’t been so simple. I have fallen down so so so many times, and I’m still learning. I’ve had to leave a job, and sometimes I miss lectures. But as my old standby goes

“Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it.’ Then you laugh inside, remembering all the times you felt the same way.’”

(Pinched from Charles Bukowski, in case you were wondering.)

I’ve learnt that it doesn’t matter how many times you stumble or even fall, as long as you continue to get back up.

Which is why I’m writing this post, because first of all it’s a great way for me to reflect and see how far I’ve come, and second of all, because even if I can just reach and help one person by sharing this, then it makes it all the more worth it.

It’s hard to narrow down such a vast and nebulous experience into a blog post but I’ll try my best; with my suggestions for help, and the handy set of guidelines I’ve learnt to live by along the way.

 

Things that help:

Below is a long list of resources and things I recommend for help when you’re struggling. There’s so many other coping methods and things that help, and it’s important to find what works for you as exhausting as that process can be.

 

• Wellbeing Services at University.
  The Wellbeing Services are incredible at the University of Huddersfield. If you’re struggling it is very simple to get an appointment with them, just swing by iPoint or call them for a same-day appointment and they’ll get you started with the personalised support plan you need. Whether this is talk therapy, going to the groups and workshops, or even ensuring you get your own separate room for exams for example. They’re there to help regardless of if you’ve been diagnosed as I have or if you’re just struggling.
• Medical Help
  If you feel bad enough, there’s no shame in getting medical help. Your doctors will be able to talk you through this and help provide medication and services designed to help you recover.
• Books
  Books have been a big part of my recovery. Not just books about mental health either but fiction, just reading for the sheer enjoyment of it. It’s a great way to de-stress. Matt Haig is one of my favourite authors, who incidentally also suffers with anxiety and depression. His book “Reasons to Stay Alive” is a constant on my bookshelf, and I re-read it frequently to stay centred.
• The Headspace App
  A fantastic app recommended to me by the University Wellbeing Team. It has courses to help deal with mental health issues and meditation sessions.
• Talk
  The most important thing. Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out to someone, anyone, and talk. Speaking to the Wellbeing Services at University took a whole load off my shoulders because suddenly I wasn’t dealing with it alone.
• Podcasts
  The same as books, they don’t have to be about mental health, but they help and help to distract you. One of my favourites is run by John Moe and his guests, called The Wonderful World of Depression.It has so many stories and tips from people learning to cope with their own illnesses.
• The Blurt Foundation
  These guys are full of incredible resources and help.

Which leads me to…

Gemma’s 10 Rules to Live by. 

1)     Recovery isn’t a straight line up
(It’s more of a wibbly wobbly mess of confusion. But you will get there.)

2)     Be kind to yourself

3)     And to those around you

4)     Self-care is important

5)     But so is getting up and facing the world

6)     This isn’t for forever

7)     Medication isn’t the end of the world
(I can’t emphasise this enough, if you need medication, take it and don’t be ashamed. There’s still a ridiculous taboo around it, but if you need it that’s perfectly okay.)

8)     There’s help out there

9)     Mental health isn’t just limited to depression
(Also equally important. There’s a whole range of illnesses that can affect the brain. They all deserve the same help and compassion.)

10)  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
(Nothing irks me more than people dismissively saying “Oh they’re just looking for attention, it’s just a cry for help. Yes exactly, it’s a cry for help. Would you ignore a person drowning and crying for help? No. So don’t be so critical towards those suffering under the weight of a brain on fire.)

Most of all, I want you to know that if you’re looking for a sign that it will get better, that you shouldn’t give up, this is it.