My experience with hidden disabilities
Lukas Rimmer
Media and Popular Culture BA(Hons) - Fourth Year
Hi, I'm Lukas. I’m a transgender student in the final year of my Media and Popular Culture undergraduate degree, navigating student life with hidden disabilities. In my spare time I enjoy playing video games, watching movies, making digital art and creative writing.
My experience with hidden disabilities
Hello, I’m Lukas. I moved from Doncaster to study Media and Popular Culture at the University of Huddersfield.
Not all disabilities are visible or apparent. They are often misunderstood, and they can make life challenging. They can be isolating, embarrassing and difficult to explain. They have the capacity to impact our lives and our studies.
Some people might require additional patience and understanding because of their hidden disabilities whereas others might need assistive technology or equipment. It should never be assumed that someone is perfectly capable of something simply because their disability is not physical or obvious, and this has the potential to make university particularly demanding at times.
When I was applying for university, I didn’t know that I was entitled to Disabled Students’ Allowance (DSA). I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and was receiving treatment, but I believed that DSA was for those who were already registered as disabled and had specific requirements for their learning, such as assistive technology. I was not registered as disabled and therefore I skipped past that section of my application.
To say I scraped by during my A Levels would be an understatement. The work was incredibly difficult for me to manage around my health and I just barely met the entrance requirements for my course.
I thought things would change when I got to university. After all, it was a fresh start and an opportunity to study something I was genuinely passionate about. Plus, I was coming to university with one of my closest friends from home - we were even going to share some classes!
The truth was that my depression impacted more of my studies than I was willing to admit to anyone, including myself. After all, it is embarrassing to explain that you can’t complete work because you can’t get out of bed; that your energy levels are so low that you can’t imagine possibly doing anything. Even though I was very interested in my course I still struggled to find motivation. I didn’t have any strategies in place to combat my low mood, and the anxiety as a consequence of me falling behind in class.
My mental health issues continued to impact me in my second year and I considered withdrawing from the University. My personal tutor encouraged me to contact the Wellbeing and Disability Team and arrange an appointment through iPoint before I rushed a decision.
I must admit I was sceptical of what they could do to help me. However, my meeting was incredibly relieving. I was listened to and I wasn’t judged. My issues were validated. I was very shocked to hear that I could be entitled to help through Student Finance England’s DSA scheme. I didn’t consider myself disabled but my advisor explained that as I have a diagnosed medical issue that was continuing to affect my ability to complete my course work, why shouldn’t I apply for additional support? I was at a disadvantage in that moment, and additional support could help level the playing field.
From there I was assigned a Disability Advisor who walked me through the process of applying for DSA. She has been wonderful from day one and has never been anything less than understanding and patient with me every step of the way. It wasn’t long until she had arranged an assessment for me at the University. My assessor was also understanding and non-judgemental. She asked me questions about how my mental health affected my work and my life, what equipment I had access to, and she demonstrated some technology that could potentially help me with my coursework and lectures.
From this point onwards, I managed pretty well. I utilised what support was available to me, keeping up with my Disability Advisor and dropping in for regular wellbeing appointments with a member of the Wellbeing and Disability Team, as well as my GP at the University Health Centre on campus. I had a solid support network, and I was now living with my best friend.
But then 2020 came around and I had more setbacks in my final year. I really struggled to transition to online learning. Seeing my best friend succeed in his work as I fell behind was crushing. Everything felt so momentous as the world took a strange turn. This was on top of me beginning my social transition as a transgender person.
I officially suspended my studies whilst I debated whether to resit my final year or completely withdraw. My tutors, peers and other members of staff supported my choice to take a break and continued to keep in touch whilst I was away. No one was ever more than an email away.
During this break I did some research, and I began to suspect that on top of my depression and anxiety, I may have a learning difficulty. My Disability Advisor helped me arrange an assessment with a psychologist. It was confirmed that I have ADHD and dyslexia, and likely had for a long time. It explained why I had struggled so much with certain tasks, particularly with motivation and procrastination. It was a eureka moment - so many of the issues I had experienced now made sense!
Now I am currently resitting my final year and I have a lot more appropriate support in place. I know that if anything changes the staff at the University of Huddersfield have my back.
The issues of all disabled people are valid and important - hidden disabilities can be just as impactful as visible disabilities. If you have a hidden disability, or struggle at all during your time at university, know that you are not alone.
You are entitled to support from a qualified team who genuinely care about your health and wellbeing. If you’d like to arrange additional disability support for lessons, discuss personal issues that are impacting you, or simply need an understanding ear, the Wellbeing and Disability Team is there to help. You can find further information here.
It is so important to be kind to one another. Everyone has challenges that they are facing, some are just more hidden than others.
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